Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Urmea tagged me long ago but it's only now that I have managed to really come up with what I want. Here's to my perfect partner:

  1. Must have a sense of humour that can match none living or dead.
  2. Must have a passion for the wild - whether it be in seeking out the Royal Bengal Tigers from anywhere in the Sundarbans or going on an African Safari; to just letting the basic instincts loose
  3. Must be able to rattle of PSR&T, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Eliot, Plath, Browning, Ogden Nash, Henry James, Conrad all in the same breath
  4. Must find innovative ways to titillate me mentally and physically since I get bored very easily.
  5. Must accept and endure me as I am: with all my whims, fancies, tantrums, vices and shortcomings (after all, he’s the one who has to be perfect, not me!) And if he assumes he can get on board first and then try to work around any one of my imperfections…better not get aboard, dude.
  6. Must respect and understand the ample need for space. Should abide by my philosophy of Live and let live. I’ll be more than glad if he goes out on his Boyz nites out and leaves me to my girlie ones…they r anyways so much better.
  7. Must have a passion for the performing arts…theatre, movies, dance, the works… and if classical dancing isn’t exactly his cuppa, he wasn’t eyeing the right woman, anyways!
  8. Must be decent, presentable, dapper, suave, bright, loving, caring(read pampering) and extremely understanding.

Now if any 1 person even remotely fits this bill, you are either lying or a dreamer. Besides, if the opposite sex was really perfect, we wouldn’t have been the wo(e)ful other half.

PS: JAP, Bonatellis your turn next.

Another day , another world

The journey has begun. After a very smooth flight, I am destined to face my moment of truth. A chauffeur-driven swank black Merc at my disposal. While the world sleeps, I speed at 130 kmph down my perceived highway to heaven. The names of the roads mean little to me at the moment. Just the drive, the speed, the feel of the plush Merc interiors and the two tiny pegs of vodka on the flight, all combine to give a heady feeling. First question to the driver: How long will it take to the hotel? “Half an hour madam”.

Aha…half hour of mindless musings. Unfortunately, he either underestimated his driving skills or The Merc’s horsepower! It took just 15 mins!

I have a river-facing room that allows me to just gaze at the world as the day yawns out of the night, little ferries amble by with sleepy passengers aboard and the birds sing their songs of sixpence to usher in a bright new day.

Freedom is indeed a many splendoured word. When you don't have it like every other thing you crave for it...when you have don't know what to do with it. The overflowing excess of nervous energy has rendered me an incapacitated insomniac, clueless about what to do next, where to search for some peace of mind and body. I and my laptop, I and my sporadic virtual company, I and my thoughts, live in isolation... in another part of the world.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Lateral thinking has been rewarded. She's been given a grade pass as JAP suggested earlier. But happiness comes with a huge price tag.
Parents pay 1 grand per month for all the 33 months of her existence till date.Yes, that's the amount one has to dish out for admission into pre-school. Co-incidence? Ridiculous? Or just the norm?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A strange and sublime moment

How many times in life have you ever really wanted something in life? And got it too? I'd say a couple of times out of the ten times that I've held my breath, closed my eyes tight, pursed my lips and with folded hands knelt before the deemed Miracle Maker. The outcome called for celebrations.
But this time it’s different. I’ve suddenly been offered something I have secretly desired for, for almost a decade now, but never really mustered up the courage to even ask Him for it in passing. I was quite happy in my resigned-to-fate state of being. Until, the capricious Trade Winds blew my way and left me to contend with a bag of mixed feelings. In one swivelling move, they’ve just turned my body inside out and shimmied the innards of my brain.
I feel stranded between the vast blue firmament and the fathomless sea. I’ve longed for it. Now I can have it (touchwood). My moment of truth. I should be happy, elated and welcome it with wide open arms. To borrow Karate Kid’s lyrics, I’ve w
aited forever, it's now or it's never, nothing should stop me now. Even though I know it’ll last all of 72 hours, not a second more. I can live a lifetime in those 4320 minutes; slip into the skins of those characters I’ve secretly idolized, do the things I’ve always wanted to throwing caution to the winds and, still be Me.
But what is this that’s pulling me and tying me up in knots, enshackling me with those massive manacles? I can’t seem to set myself free,
make a choice, get up and show them who I am, prove myself. Deep in my soul I hear a voice, answering to the call, but it’s just not as easy as it seems. I know this is the place, this is the time, it’s now or it’s never. But there are visions that float across my mind’s eye. Some faces, some loose statements, some bonds, some priceless cuddles I may miss…some choices I consciously made long long ago.
But, I guess I just gotta believe in myself and make love to the moment. Close my eyes tight, purse my lips and set myself free.

Friday, March 03, 2006


Ok, in the last around 17 hours or thereabouts I have been reminded about my AGE in not so subtle terms by various people.

Now, before you start commenting, let me make it absolutely clear, that I am perfectly aware of my age and all that comes with it-- yes, the wrinkles, the tiers, loss of memory and hearing(thankfully I have a 20/20 vision, so that'll take a while to fade), ton loads of responsibility (both professional and personal) to shoulder that leads to a bad back and neck, disintegrating teeth(darn colgate, close up et al), osteoporosis, general exhaustion, like now, so feel free to add the rest.

So, what's it about my age, or for anybody's age for that matter? And who decides what's the right 'behaviour' for an age? My nearly-three-year old sings herself to sleep on Kajra re kajra and wakes up singing Dus bahane karke le gaye... Sigh! Oh for the good old days of Ghum parani mashi pishi...She doesn't respond to gobbledegook or the usual kiddy language. She speaks very clear logically strung sentences.

Most men I know, seem to be talking about/watching who faced how many balls before getting out; who scored how many goals (when they aren't scoring themselves, i.e); babes, bods, the best brand of beer, gizmos(when they are not in a switch-on,switch-off mode i.e), pubs, clothes or the lack of them most often than not and everything else that amuses them. Basically, they're always either playing games, or up to some prank and they can play ball throughout their lives. And, try talking to them when they are specifically watching a ball game. Here's a tip for girlfriends, wives(just the newly married lot), "just friends" -- if you wanna know the man better, thre's no better time than this. But if you are watching your favourite soap or just happen to be working on something and he needs something (which is usually right away) or just wants to be amused and you happen to ignore him, that's it women! Wives-get those divorce papers, girlfriends can either gear up for a loong sulking day/evening replete with "You are ignoring me" and lines to that effect or just go find one of the soap stars. Ageless games, and all very becoming of the age, I presume.

The moment women talk of the shade of lipstick they bought yesterday, hunks(arm candy!), clothes, bags, shoes, retarded mothers-in-law, bitchy friends, or shed all inhibitions(if any) to have some fun, AGE becomes an issue. So at what age should we discuss lipsticks? And what's a good age to discuss mothers-in-law? (Personally, I think this is a topic akin to good wine, the more the years you spend with them, the discussion gets juicier and tastier). What's a good age to seek a little attention? Or what's a good age to have fun? Pray someone please tell me. So I can behave MY AGE.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A few stolen moments

Been adrift on life for awhile now. Ebbing and flowing with the tide, seeking method in its mad resounding splashes. Sometimes straining my ears to pick up the voices of virtual passersby trying to reach out and hitch a ride. But, alas, surfing is a pacy adventure sport. Leaves no time to stand and hear. So, in a few stolen moments of freewheeling, I live a lifetime, before moving on.