Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A strange and sublime moment

How many times in life have you ever really wanted something in life? And got it too? I'd say a couple of times out of the ten times that I've held my breath, closed my eyes tight, pursed my lips and with folded hands knelt before the deemed Miracle Maker. The outcome called for celebrations.
But this time it’s different. I’ve suddenly been offered something I have secretly desired for, for almost a decade now, but never really mustered up the courage to even ask Him for it in passing. I was quite happy in my resigned-to-fate state of being. Until, the capricious Trade Winds blew my way and left me to contend with a bag of mixed feelings. In one swivelling move, they’ve just turned my body inside out and shimmied the innards of my brain.
I feel stranded between the vast blue firmament and the fathomless sea. I’ve longed for it. Now I can have it (touchwood). My moment of truth. I should be happy, elated and welcome it with wide open arms. To borrow Karate Kid’s lyrics, I’ve w
aited forever, it's now or it's never, nothing should stop me now. Even though I know it’ll last all of 72 hours, not a second more. I can live a lifetime in those 4320 minutes; slip into the skins of those characters I’ve secretly idolized, do the things I’ve always wanted to throwing caution to the winds and, still be Me.
But what is this that’s pulling me and tying me up in knots, enshackling me with those massive manacles? I can’t seem to set myself free,
make a choice, get up and show them who I am, prove myself. Deep in my soul I hear a voice, answering to the call, but it’s just not as easy as it seems. I know this is the place, this is the time, it’s now or it’s never. But there are visions that float across my mind’s eye. Some faces, some loose statements, some bonds, some priceless cuddles I may miss…some choices I consciously made long long ago.
But, I guess I just gotta believe in myself and make love to the moment. Close my eyes tight, purse my lips and set myself free.

4 comments:

Talking Contradiction said...

the real question beith...what is it that you have wanted for so long?

Bonatellis said...

ahhh :)

Gati said...

Case ta ki? Puro kintu haloo hoye gelam.
Lekhate ato anondo fute berochchhe...ki byapar?
Guess korte giye ja sob mone aschhe ta ar lekha jachchhe na.

Priya said...

Guppy: Some things r not for children below 18!!!
Bonatellis: u shd know;) Still overwhelmed with yr offer?
Gati: chhi chhi...boroder shonge fajlami??
Let's just say there's a life beyond.And I'm exploring.