Friday, July 29, 2005

Theory of relationship

Just read: "There’s a lot of confusion over the word, ‘partner’. It’s very important to decide whether or not you have a transactional relationship or a true partnership"-- a loaded statement from the CEO of an IT company.
What is indeed the nature of relationships/partnerships in our lives? Are all partnerships a kind of a relationship or vice versa? Are we in it for the sake of it, for the sake of love or as Austen would've said for convenience? And most importantly, who's a partner?
Let's try and define a partner first. According to the dictionary, it's one who's associated with another. So, is it the "other" half? The alter ego? What's his/her function in the scheme of things? Is the "other" supposed to have qualities similar/dissimilar to the "one"? No I'm not qualified enough to get into any existentialist theories here. Just trying to figure things out.
So, what is a partnership in this context? One and the other marooned in an island aboard a ship?!! Ok no, jokes apart, is it two people(not necessarily in love) in a convenient relationship? If the relationship is convenient (or otherwise), does it mean it can be between any two people living together or miles apart? What then is a true partnership?
To pick up the thread from Jai's post, let's take, for example, the nature of long distance relationships (LDRs). First, when they are long distance, is there an element of relationship there? Or is it just a friendship, purely transactional? A kind of deal to keep in touch; give each other some peptalk, when either one is down, and almost out; just be there (virtually or phone-etically) to listen to the ravings and rantings of a semi-demented mind.
Relationships with no distance between them (read married/live- in couples), do we call them partnerships? Partners in love? It's a complex and tricky area. Marriage is a different ball game altogether, as they say. Still trying to figure out the nuances of it...some comments will help! But does marriage mean there is nothing transactional in the relationship? What's your job is yours, what's ours is also yours, but my job is mine. In relationships do you make such demarcations such as: the kitchen is your (wife's) territory, not mine..the living room (with TV, Music system et al) is my territory not yours, the bedroom is sometimes mine and sometimes yours.
So where does the word partner come into the picture in the scheme of relationships? Just to tango on the dance floor, in the kitchen, with the kid? What is a true partnership? You do half the cooking, I do the other half. You dust the Tv, music sytem, DVDs, I sweep and swab the floor? You eat the snacks, I drink the whisky!
Or in true Shantiniketan style " Tumi fool, ami pata, tumi jol, ami atta!" ...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Caught Bloghanded

Ok, this one's a warning post for all those who blog from office! Guess what just happened? My editor was looking for information for our next cover story on a certain exhibition, I have mentioned in a previous post (I'm deliberately not specifying the name..u'll know y, in the course of this blog). So what does he do? Google of course, u silly! And amongst all the very relevant search results that show up, who should find place but Yours Truly! and more importantly, who should decide to click on something as silly as a title "The Novice" to hunt for some "relevant" matter, but my editor! And who should he decide to share his great discovery with? But of course, his most obedient and all enthu Asst editor (Your's Truly)!
Here's his expression upon striking gold: "Interesting see, there's someone called chattypriya on" My first reaction: aka Sushmita Sen after winning the Miss Universe crown -- jaws fall apart, mind races faster than the speed of light (pleae note, at all other times it's even slower than the tubelight), to come up with some valid reason for using office time, infrastructure et al to publicise what may be confidential just couldn't think of nothin'. He carries on : "She's even from Bangalore! (yeah, right! And sitting just about exactly 3 inches away from you! UGGGGGGH) Very interesting, she written about this exhibition." I/me the stupid, instead of keeping this huge big trap shut and getting back to work, had to play on the 'Bubly' enthu cutlet and spill out: "But that's me!!" (Breaking into an uncontrollable cackle to reinforce imbecility) That's not all. I then russle up enough sanity to ask: "But how did u get there?" Donning his most charming smile, said he: "It's right there on the Google!!" Now you know why I'm not uttering the name again. (I like my privacy, thank you. No I'm not a limelight hogging journo.)
Efficiency thy name is Google! And next time you blog from office, just make sure, there's nothing official about it. (Am again doing it myself tho', but that's ME...don't follow my example in life, please. PS: Urmi just tell them, I'm BAD.)
Oh I forgot, to mention, the only good thing that came out of being honest was that he didn't read that post or any of the others at all!!! Honesty, after all, is THE BEST policy!
PPS: My editor's the most charming, adorable mallu gentleman I've ever come across in Bangalore. And no, this has nothing to do with this particular incident, nor the fact that he may just decide to drop in some other time to read my posts or gimme a hike tomorrow instead of 6 months later. He's quite a rare breed of journalist really.

Friday, July 22, 2005

I just had the most hilarious experience at work. It is now a seasoned journalistic lore that editorial and sales have no love lost between them. Sometimes, they'd even put Yudhisthir and Duryodhan to shame, in fact. In the aforementioned analogy, it's needless to say that editorial= Yudhishthir. Especially, in the Times group scenario, (thank God, I'm no longer there, so needn't fear a kick in the ass!) where only the sales guys get the best deals, and hence, the best hikes and, subsequently, the most swank apartments and cars. (may they rot in hell). Well, after all, they are the ones who make TOI(let paper) the world's largest english shit rag! However, I've never really heard a sales guy pitching for an ad either over the phone or otherwise.
To go back to my experience, in this little-known niche magazine for global custodians(My friends say my email sounds like I'm some CID agent!!), I was just privy to a sales pitch by the firang sales director! Excerpts:
Sales director (SD): A very good afternoon Mr. so-and-so (S&S). I understand Miss T....SOrry but I'm slightly jetlagged at the moment (jetlagged?? Read "autolagged", F***er lives right here in B'lore!!) Oh dear, u are going away on a holiday are u? Oh great.. may be u could get me some great white wine from there...I know I's wonderful...The children are out there tucked away in a french villa and don't want daddy anywhere around..." (french villa?? 13 and 15 yr olds..sitting put in a London suburb!!). Ok so before you leave, how about just finalising this deal for a blah blah blah...
Freaking hellllll...I'd no clue this is what sales is about...I mean, I'm used to N telling me about the ad industry: "You need to know how to Pfaf your way through to stick around here, not slog your ass off to get thru' CAT, or MICA!"
But I laughed my gut out at this's no doubt an art. No wonder, we, the so-called nerdy antel lot don't see eye to eye with them!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Musical de ja vu

If music be the food of life, play on. That's what Madan Mohan has immortalised and now our good old Ani-da, with a friend, in this article. For all you music lovers, I think Ani-da's knowledge, love and depth on the subject, comes across beautifully, if not melodiously in it. Chaliye jao Guru. Enjoy reading!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

creative writing

I haven't written because I'm slowly becoming an avid blog reader! Thanks to Gati, I have my favourite links up on my dashboard, too. Am totally floored by some of the musings/rantings/ravings..wish I had even an iota of their writing skills... Anyway to improve my skills, am going to follow my "bestest" friend's footsteps and take a creative writing course in the hope that some day I too shall use my creative energies fruitfully. And not to mention, of course, be among the top few oft read/love reading bloggers on other people's dashboards.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Dubious soul

My self has been gestating in the incubator. Gymming to get some power into that frozen anatomy, drinking caffeine and Boost ( the recent secret of my energy!!) to pump up the energy, hatching wild plans, plotting strategies to dupe me,N, and the world according to "me". The brain's stressed out already and I've been feeling self is slowly overpowering me. A blurry vision whizzes past,leaving a blazing trail of smoke...smoke from a joint? from the dying embers of a long thrown away cigarette? From wasted life and times of 'me'?
How long before my self can break free from the incubator to be the avante-garde? To be what she wants to be, to fear none and to tear all? How long before I just stop fakin' it?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

My secure corner

I haven't heard from the voice, surprisingly. Or haven't I paid attention? May be I've just engrossed myself too much into the intricacies of the "securities" industry. Should I call this ironical, a quirk of fate/destiny? Haven't a clue, honestly. What the hell am I -- a most ordinary woman, more prone to talking about Husband, Daughter, and what-do-I cook-for-dinner(Long live Gati), and more rarely on Dead Poets' Society, Elliot (God bless J.A.P), Plath, Umberto Eco, A monk who sold his Ferrari, philosophy, what's right and what isn't, a few pegs of vodka with lime or even a Martini, and never on economies of scale or otherwise, statistics, vital or others, numerology, custody (legal or global) -- doing in the Securities world?
Especialy, someone who has nothing worth its name for an asset, much less liquid cash and wasn't even earning enough to be a taxpayer!!(Thank God, oops sorry, Fouth Estate, for small mercies!) So, is my future secure? Should I ask my husband? Who knows? Who cares? Especially for the future...didn't I say I was living for the day? The present?
Just read, the securities industry is undergoing a transformation...(incidentally, it's also the theme for Sibos 2005) and the industry bigwigs are gonna thrash out the pros and cons of it at the mecca of all financial conferences, Sibos (Some investment brains over stressed!!).
May be, a transformation is what I need, too. Or is it a metamorphosis altogether? What was that somebody said? Change is the only constant...tomorrow, after all, is yet another day. I live on...for the moment, at least.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The voice

It's been quite a while since 'I' euthenasised 'myself'. I have quietly institutionalised 'me' into the mundane rigours of marriage and, subsequently, motherhood. Occasionally, I tried very hard to build a career. But of course, half baked is always half done. The other day, I suddenly thought I heard a voice, some nameless head from some frameless wall, whispering sweet nothings into my over sensitive ears. Just dismissed it as an obvious whim, thinking it's all a result of my excessive indulence in movies over the past few days. But the voice kept making a routine visit once in awhile. Could it be the ghost of "myself"? Till date I haven't believed in spirits, spiritualism, scientology, necrology or the likes, but looks like I have to think again or rather start believing in something. I insist on something rather than someone...
It might just help me understand the language spoken. As of now, it appears, greek, no chinese, or is it latin? What could the voice be saying? Greek I know zilch, same with chinese...but latin I do have a very limited and select vocab. The only two words I can remember now...carpe diem. Could that be what the voice is trying to tell me? Sieze the moment? Reincarnate for the for myself...
Time for some serious introspection..will get back to you with more on the voice...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Back again

It's over a month since Gubs turned two. A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. the b'day party turned out very exciting indeed..with loads of pizzas, biryanis and chicken chanp! Yes, the combination's rather queer..but the pizzas were for evening snacks with the yuuummmmmmy Millennium cake and those who stayed over for dinner got the added treat of mutton biryani ( the Shiraz types, for familiar kolkatans. In b'lore they are called La Zeez!) and chicken chanp. Madam was mighty well behaved, much to my surprise and enjoyed herself to the hilt!
Since then, I've quit my job at IBM, tried my hand at being a perfect homemaker, absolutely in vain, and subsequently, got back to doing what I do best...editing ( a magazine, this time.) Life's been quite a gee,whizzzzzz, Jeeeez, over the last few days and must admit, I enjoyed every bit of it.
Indulged in a lot of movie watching...from Rashomon to Frida to the 9 1/2 Weeks kinds..a motley mix...thank god for cheap DVDs and long live the pirates! Whoever wants these guys behind bars, please someone catch those activists and send them to infirmary!