Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Comm Comm

The population of desperate males has suddenly shot up much like our Indian stock market. And the products of their intellectual masturbation are to be seen all over the sundry Net communities - Hi5, Orkut and now Zorpia. Was dragged into the last one by the Fairy and boy o boy! Is it infested with weird creatures so eager to make "nice friendship".
Sample this: Hi Priyadarshini, How r u Doing. Hope this mail finds U in Great Spirit & Cheerfull mood. I would love to have ur friendship . I am Rakesh, I am from Bangalore, I work as software engineer in Bangalore. I am 5'9" height, well build, very sportive, fun loving, loves to enjoy my life always, loves to appreciate & respect others feelings,I'm jovial, Humurous. I love travelling, beaches, Music, dance. I am basically sports freek, loves to play lots of sports like soccer, tennis & cricket. I am presently staying alone in bangalore. I wnat to convey that UR Profile is really very attractive .I feel U r very creative & passonate abt life, & I am also the same. I am eagerly looking forward to our nice friendship. pls keep in touch, I Hope to have u as my friend . U can also mail me at my personal ID dashingblue007@yahoo.com Keep in touch Priyadarshini. I am looking forward to cherrish every moment of our nice friendship. Pls feel free to call me on my mobile 98453-67225, i would love to speak to u . Take care Priyadarshini. Lots of Luv, Rakesh ( UR Admirer ). Mobile : 98453-67225

Now this is what I call a real gogetter! I have absolutely no clue what makes my profile so very attractive, considering there's no photo and almost nothing said about m'self. And, he feels I'm "creative and passonate"...FREEK[sic]! Where the eff did that come from?
Some dashing dude, this one!

I'm being subjected to another kind of mail, too. I've been invited to join the kay-matrimonial group. Please note kay is a shorter version of Kayasthya. (How keeewwl!) Boy, they've even found out my caste! Says: More Than 25000 kayastha comunity[sic] Marriageable Bio-Data of Brides and Grooms From different kayastha Sections. I mean how do these search engines assume stuff like unmarried or divorcee or married but still interested in an EMA. Talk about intruding my privacy. For those of us happily married, despite all the happiness, I don't think we'd ever wanna go that route again (at least not unless we've settled for a nice fat multi-crore alimony from the present one and signed a contract with the prospective one on the same, before walking down the aisle:P).

But as N argues, look at the brighter side of things. "Even at your age and with your hideous looks, people are interested in you," he says.


Chilla-Bong said...

Hehe, despo Indo-males can be the worst spammers.I am pretty sure some where on his C:\ drive Rakesh has a template.txt where he needs only to change the name of his targeted female and shoot an e-mail.Or maybe he used his software talent and created a spam-bot to carry his message around the globe.
That makes me think did spammers in ancient India used spam-pigeons?
Best part would be if you don't like it you can kill it and have a pigeon roast.

M (tread softly upon) said...

hahaha! Rakesh (Ur admirer) is a riot. Do keep in touch with him if only to string him along. After all with your creativity and passion I'm sure you can find ways :))
Do you also get mails trying to sell you viagra? Either their database is all messed up or I have male listed on my profile, but they think I need help with my um...sexlife.

Bonatellis said...

simply, simply delightful :)

so did ya "make" friendhip or not ...

The Marauder's Map said...

oh god, I can do a thesis on this. such long mails also some of them write. what patience and dedication to the pursuit of frensip!

Lalita Mukherjea said...

Is this for real? Good grief!

Priya said...

Chillabong: bhery innobhative..tk u:)
M: Ya riigght! And thankfully, no one's got a wind yet of my sex-life or lack of it:P So no viagra mails for me.
Bona: Liek I said...
Shrabs: tui and Moi and we may have to rope in Ron too!
Lali: Everything's for real, in the virtual world, at least!

eve's lungs said...

One come across such types on Orkut - one guy regularly puts in long poems dediacted to friendship- and here I am lamenting on the paucity of time and sneaking time off work to read yr blog